Full Version: Due to semi-popular demand...

From: BratDawg [#106]
 2 Nov 2006
To: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#105] 2 Nov 2006

David,

The last time Uncle Loren went out in the yard to hang clothes, the neighbor and his pet chicken went running after him....

He said that was the only time he had been "charged with a personal fowl"...

(ba domp bomp!)




:-) 

From: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#107]
 2 Nov 2006
To: BratDawg [#106] 2 Nov 2006

Did Uncle Loren just have a haircut, and tell the barber to take a little off top and a lot "off sides"?

From: BratDawg [#108]
 2 Nov 2006
To: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#107] 2 Nov 2006

Hi Dave,

The reason he looks that way is that he had his hair cut the last time he was arrested...it seems as though he ripped up his front yard and tried putting down new sod which is apparently against the home association rules.

He was charged with "intentional grounding".....

>.< 

From: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#109]
 2 Nov 2006
To: BratDawg [#108] 2 Nov 2006

He should really take the "sod off"* and put down some "artificial turf". (OK, that's not a pun) Perhaps they would be happy if he put seeds "first, down" in the dirt, and then added some "water. Boy", I bet that would work.


* = the Brits are chuckling at that one

From: BratDawg [#110]
 2 Nov 2006
To: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#109] 2 Nov 2006

Well, they probably wouldn't hassle him so much but every January he has to re-do his fence, as it always winds up without the supports....

It seems as though they get picked off every year during "post season"...

From: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#111]
 2 Nov 2006
To: BratDawg [#110] 3 Nov 2006

I heard that while driving back from the hardware store with new fence posts in the back of his truck he got a ticket for "tailgating. Party" decorations were also in the back of the truck.

From: BratDawg [#112]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#111] 3 Nov 2006

And what a party it was.....Uncle Loren drank so much that when he went to look behind the house, all he could see was the "back field in motion"....

From: Harvey only (HARVEY-ONLY) [#113]
 3 Nov 2006
To: BratDawg [#112] 3 Nov 2006

But when he paid for those posts he thought he was overcharged so he did a 'quaterback sneak'.

From: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#114]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Harvey only (HARVEY-ONLY) [#113] 3 Nov 2006

Harvey,

Some of the posts, hung so far off the back of the truck that he attached a "yellow flag" to them.

From: BratDawg [#115]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#114] 3 Nov 2006

David,

The biggest problem was the truck itself. It was so overloaded that the engine would stop if it hit any raised areas in the road.....


I guess when it's loaded, it just can't hit a "bump and run"....

From: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#116]
 3 Nov 2006
To: BratDawg [#115] 3 Nov 2006

Steve,

Sometimes, older trucks have a tendancy for the spark plugs to "foul."

From: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#117]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#116] 3 Nov 2006

I'm sure he wanted to have the posts deep in the ground, but I don't know if he reached that "goal. Posts" like that aren't easy to install.

His wife wasn't too happy about him taking plates out there either. She found a yellow, white, and "orange bowl" full of nails in the garden. It was near the roses, so she yelled at him about the "rose bowl".

From: BratDawg [#118]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#117] 3 Nov 2006

Dave,

He got the posts installed, but not without it taking it's toll on him...he's rather sore and has a "stiff arm"....

Now he can't untie his laces when he sits down so he has to just "kickoff" his shoes....

From: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#119]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#117] 3 Nov 2006

Dave,

Next time, I would suggest that he not "parade" around with the bowls.

I'm sure he's been forgiven, since last time I saw Loren, he was in a "huddle" with Enna.

From: Harvey only (HARVEY-ONLY) [#120]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#119] 3 Nov 2006

Uncle Lauren had a mishap installing the posts, fell flat on his 'tail. Back' in the house Enna determined it was not a broken tail-bone but a bruise in the lower 'Lombardi' area. (Is that too much of a stretch? Naw, just some 'warm-up calisthenics'.)

From: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#121]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Harvey only (HARVEY-ONLY) [#120] 3 Nov 2006

Harvey,

Is it true that you're a "lineman" for the county and you drive the main road?

From: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#122]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#121] 3 Nov 2006

What did you "call" him?

From: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#123]
 3 Nov 2006
To: Dave Jones (DAVERJ) [#122] 4 Nov 2006

Dave,

I can't remember. I'll have to look at the "instant replay."

From: BratDawg [#124]
 5 Nov 2006
To: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#123] 5 Nov 2006

David,

I see it was quiet over the weekend....not for Uncle Lroen though. The Condo Association once again had him arrested when he tried trimming the hedges in his front yard......they have some tough by-laws and he was penalized for "clipping".....

From: Stunt Engraver (DGL) [#125]
 5 Nov 2006
To: BratDawg [#124] 6 Nov 2006

Steve,

I feel bad for Loren, but you can't blame the home owners' association for "holding" to their by-laws.

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